I Wish I Had an Alarm to Notify Me When...

Complete this thought: “I wish an alarm would notify me whenever…”  

I wish an alarm would notify me when I am being over-critical and I simply can’t drop it. 

By the way, I don’t need an alarm I need a bullhorn. I am not sure that my over-critical condition is not a directly a result of age and experience more than anything else. I know one thing, I never do it out of malice or to make someone feel less. Although my poor husband (when I start) just looks ahead like someone who jumped out of a plane and the parachute won’t open. 

My work ahead on overcoming my over-critical condition is simply becoming aware…no need for an alarm or bullhorn. I need to stop and think…Why is something not pleasing? Why is something not professional? Why don’t I feel I am receiving value for my acquisition?

And then….I need to think (clearly, realistically, pragmatically). Am I really going to change anything by being a complete nut case? Probably not. Maybe sometimes, but I wouldn’t bet on it. I need to simply be present and realize that this too, shall pass. The world, restaurant, airplane, waiter, contractor, news show, is what it is. Do I truly think that by being miserable and making those around me uncomfortable I am going to be right and have the last word? I don’t think so. 

However, in my own defense. Speaking-up when something is not right is a responsibility because if you can affect change and improve people, situations, things, you should…but do so with kindness and with restraint. 

By the way…I keep a golden shovel on my desk as a reminder to quit digging deeper.

Posted on June 10, 2019 and filed under Words of Wisdom, Mindfulness.